What words do I use this night,
My mind tonight just can’t sleep
How I want to write I just can’t decide,
Because word just can not explain what today I feel
I am not sad that I am sure of,
Not low nor am depressed
Rather today as I lift my pen,
All that I feel has had me amazed
It’s been long since last time I wrote with out pain,
It’s been long since I felt the breeze from with in
The sun again is not hot enough,
Time again I feel has slowed down
Slow it is so that today I stole a moment to write,
And now I feel at peace with no scars to hide
I realized for long I hadn’t wrote with a smile,
Rather till today I now feel I had stopped living my life
All I was doing was just trying to survive,
Letting the sand slip with each passing time
But now come all, just look at me,
I am smiling with out pretending
I again feel like flying high,
With every push opening my eyes
Again today I got back on my feet,
Today not to pretend but to believe
The believe which I could again trust on,
Was one of the presents which a smile gave me
I new ray of hope is now what I see,
No more to pretend, now I can be me
This change which I feel now,
Made me realize its not over so soon
It proved to me that I am no more dead,
I no more am numb and now won’t stop living
I feel good I feel proud,
Of all the mistakes I made till now
I still haven’t forgotten to laugh loud,
Just was pretending than to confess out
This whole change is because of you,
And I wanted to tell you this before
Then thought it would be best if I said so today,
After what all you gave me this is what you get
I want you to know that today I happy and smiling,
Not because I have to but because today I want to
Thanks for giving me this choice to smile,
Now even if I will fall I won’t die
Because now I believe in what u always say,
“With good people only good happens by the end”
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Dessert……………………………
The dessert seems to be expanding every time I took a step to reach its end
The sand flew across my face every time I tried to open my eyes
The more thirsty I got, more water dried up from the ponds
More tired I felt the days became longer
The more I slept the nights got shorter
Stuck in this dessert I don’t know what to do
All I could do was to keep going
Keep going so that one day the dessert even may feel bad
The day he also would realize that I suffered a lot
Till the day he feels that I have been tested a lot and no more is the need
Till that I just have to go on
The hope on which I live sometimes die
My will at times starts to give up
The strength in my arms and legs long gone tease me
This happens every time a fall
They ask me what good am I if I can’t even walk
They poke me with questions to which I got no reply
I lie like a dead in front of them
And wait till they walk all over me
Every time this has happened I feel dead
Every time in this death I gained more strength
The strength which helps me up again
The power to once again stand and face
No matter what it throws at me I am willing to take
Pain, fear, loneliness and depression no more make me weak
I have lived through all of them and lived with them
We have all traveled in the same cart and gone through hell
Not scared of what hell will be like
Seen enough already down here
Here in this dessert where I stand
If devil comes to live would rename his hell
He too will escape coz its too hard
He too will be seen running all around
Till the time he realizes the real truth
Hell is not where you pay for what you do
It is right here where your close ones have to pay for what you do
Hell after death makes no difference but “death after hell” kills you from inside
See me burning you make enjoy,
Or seeing me in pain you also may suffer
But non of this would have never happened if you wouldn’t have been selfish
No one would have to pay if you thought about what you did
A right decision what looks to you may mess some one up
A kind selfless action you may take might end some one in this hell
No more is what I pray for all
Have meet many and made friends with lot
They all are in pain and now want to die
It’s a land of men insane of which one I am
We all pray for death when are with each other
We all wish that tomorrow don’t want to meet some one else
We all are selfish and want this land to our selves only
Hence we all wish no more are sent to this dessert so that its us only
The sand flew across my face every time I tried to open my eyes
The more thirsty I got, more water dried up from the ponds
More tired I felt the days became longer
The more I slept the nights got shorter
Stuck in this dessert I don’t know what to do
All I could do was to keep going
Keep going so that one day the dessert even may feel bad
The day he also would realize that I suffered a lot
Till the day he feels that I have been tested a lot and no more is the need
Till that I just have to go on
The hope on which I live sometimes die
My will at times starts to give up
The strength in my arms and legs long gone tease me
This happens every time a fall
They ask me what good am I if I can’t even walk
They poke me with questions to which I got no reply
I lie like a dead in front of them
And wait till they walk all over me
Every time this has happened I feel dead
Every time in this death I gained more strength
The strength which helps me up again
The power to once again stand and face
No matter what it throws at me I am willing to take
Pain, fear, loneliness and depression no more make me weak
I have lived through all of them and lived with them
We have all traveled in the same cart and gone through hell
Not scared of what hell will be like
Seen enough already down here
Here in this dessert where I stand
If devil comes to live would rename his hell
He too will escape coz its too hard
He too will be seen running all around
Till the time he realizes the real truth
Hell is not where you pay for what you do
It is right here where your close ones have to pay for what you do
Hell after death makes no difference but “death after hell” kills you from inside
See me burning you make enjoy,
Or seeing me in pain you also may suffer
But non of this would have never happened if you wouldn’t have been selfish
No one would have to pay if you thought about what you did
A right decision what looks to you may mess some one up
A kind selfless action you may take might end some one in this hell
No more is what I pray for all
Have meet many and made friends with lot
They all are in pain and now want to die
It’s a land of men insane of which one I am
We all pray for death when are with each other
We all wish that tomorrow don’t want to meet some one else
We all are selfish and want this land to our selves only
Hence we all wish no more are sent to this dessert so that its us only
My delusion
In the pond saw an iceberg
Strong and tall it stood
Frozen it shone like diamonds tied together
Deep it reached freezing all the water what was left
Even on a sunshine day it stood tall
Little drops of water when rolled down looked like
Stars falling from the sky
As the drops touched the hot water it felt even colder
It looked like the ice was not melting but helping the pond stay cold
More I went towards it I felt it going far
Every time I tried reaching out to it by my hand I felt it trying to escape my touch
Every single step I toke towards it, it kept running away
The sun above me was hard and hot
I felt drops of water rolling down my neck from behind my ears
Soon my hands too felt watery
Every step started becoming heavy
I felt as if I was holding a huge load on my shoulder which was slowly slowly slipping down
Soon the ice berg was out of my sight yet I did not loose hope
I kept moving towards the direction it went
I was running my best when I realized
My speed was slowing down
I had started to loose speed
My feet started getting tired
It felt as if they would no longer obey the orders of my mind
I was worried will I be able to walk again
Just then was a huge fall
A fall which I never was able to see
As if the hole appeared just a minute ago
I felt as if my legs were badly hurt
But soon got stable again and decided to run
Don’t know if it was my fate or my mistake
But I just could not get back on my feet again
i no more had my legs
no more were the feet with which I ran left
all that was left was water
in the pond of the water I had created my own pond
a pond which was cold n was dyeing
soon the sun would have heated it and melted the rest of my being
no more was I in a delusion
no more I was dreaming
I was a part of that iceberg
I was one of its edges
I was left behind
It was a very well thought decision
I was week n I was causing the whole ice berg to melt
So it left me behind alone in this pond under the shining sun
No more was I a stranger sitting along the bank observing the ice berg
I myself am a part of it
Or should I say was a part of it
No more delusions were left
And soon I realized all my life was a delusion
And today they all were broken
Like glass breaks.
Strong and tall it stood
Frozen it shone like diamonds tied together
Deep it reached freezing all the water what was left
Even on a sunshine day it stood tall
Little drops of water when rolled down looked like
Stars falling from the sky
As the drops touched the hot water it felt even colder
It looked like the ice was not melting but helping the pond stay cold
More I went towards it I felt it going far
Every time I tried reaching out to it by my hand I felt it trying to escape my touch
Every single step I toke towards it, it kept running away
The sun above me was hard and hot
I felt drops of water rolling down my neck from behind my ears
Soon my hands too felt watery
Every step started becoming heavy
I felt as if I was holding a huge load on my shoulder which was slowly slowly slipping down
Soon the ice berg was out of my sight yet I did not loose hope
I kept moving towards the direction it went
I was running my best when I realized
My speed was slowing down
I had started to loose speed
My feet started getting tired
It felt as if they would no longer obey the orders of my mind
I was worried will I be able to walk again
Just then was a huge fall
A fall which I never was able to see
As if the hole appeared just a minute ago
I felt as if my legs were badly hurt
But soon got stable again and decided to run
Don’t know if it was my fate or my mistake
But I just could not get back on my feet again
i no more had my legs
no more were the feet with which I ran left
all that was left was water
in the pond of the water I had created my own pond
a pond which was cold n was dyeing
soon the sun would have heated it and melted the rest of my being
no more was I in a delusion
no more I was dreaming
I was a part of that iceberg
I was one of its edges
I was left behind
It was a very well thought decision
I was week n I was causing the whole ice berg to melt
So it left me behind alone in this pond under the shining sun
No more was I a stranger sitting along the bank observing the ice berg
I myself am a part of it
Or should I say was a part of it
No more delusions were left
And soon I realized all my life was a delusion
And today they all were broken
Like glass breaks.
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