WOW! what a life

Wow! What a life………………

Wounds left with no blood to bleed,
Scars no more left to ache,
Marks no more left to show,
Tears no more flow the pain.
All what is left is me alone,
Left alone to live and move on.
Going gets tough on the road but I have to walk,
And Nothing from any one, I ask for.

Became immune to bleeding all way long,
Tried to empty it all before ending the walk,
Pulling a lump of mass as I walk,
Body with no soul or will to live on,
I still have to pull the burden,
Keep walking till my time is done.

Tough was not to pull but to push,
To hide than to run,
To live than it was to survive,
Yet I did do it and kept going on,
Still kept holding my last breath,
Still one last wish I wanted to wish for.

A dream I m scared to dream,
A space I no more seek,
A place where I want to be with people,
But again what I do is to forget,
To again do the mistake I never should do,
Again expect something out of life just before I go.

Why is it so that my wishes got no end?
Why can’t my dreams stop coming to me,
Why can’t I sit in silence and listen?
Listen to the sound of drops,
Drops of my blood as it flowed, this time for the last,
Hear the sounds of cries in it which I never did,
Listen to the screams which never came out,
The pain went through every time the knife went in,
The loneliness I went through every time I sat to write,
If nothing then at least the complaints I had from life.

Now my veins have all dried,
No more do they have water to bleed,
No more pleasure I get from the cuts,
No more of satisfaction I get to see my self fade away,
No more joy to see my self slip into the hands of true life.
No more of delight in seeing my self die.

No not any more I get now,
Nothing to joke on nothing to laugh out loud,
No more of me to stand as a pillar for others to rest for,
No more of me as the ground for others to crash on,
I see no more of me to live on any more,
All I see is a machine that can breathe,
A system that remains stable in any condition you push it into,
A source of smile that tries hard not to get lost,
A human life form, that has now lost it all.
All what was left to lose is something I know no more.

Every time I speed away when the red light turns green,
I recollect the memories which now are all scattered,
Moments long blown away with the wind,
All that still lasts is the smoke which is so dense,
So heavy that it bard me from sight,
Drunken bones dipped in red dyed water,
A huge space so empty that nothing seems to fill it,
A heart which has stooped even though time still went on.

No one can see even if want to see my scars,
No one can peek behind the hollow smile I carry,
No one can ease the pain I long adopted my self,
Nor can any one lend me back the time that went past,
Neither can they fix the present I love to live in,
Or the future I choose to die with.

I may not have had the best life in all,
It may not be what I wanted it to be,
Would even take the favor if some one made me live this life again,
But even after all that I still make the same decisions and the same mistakes
So that I again can become who I have,
So that I again get burned and crash.

Never have been upset with my self,
Nor was I depressed to write all this,
It was an artist not me who wrote my mind,
My fingers were just the puppets to his thoughts
It was not mine yet felt I was writing,
That is why I say when I talk about my self all the time.

Wow what a life………………..!
anchal kakroo

LIGHT COVERED BY DARK

I named this poen so for the simple reason i just talks about wht has been going in my min since the last year after most of you know what happened. so please correct me if i m wrong n do tell me wht u people thing.



LIGHT COVERED BY DARK

before today what i wrote was pain,
life was something i left behind,
all what was left was there to suffocate,
but this was till today that i wrote only pain.


my mind was confused whether to live or to survive,
my body was in a mess with no spots left to hide,
scars on me n my soul remaind unhealed,
and i continued to live with all that was not felt.


i was bounded by the love i long last ,
scared that will break the promise if i moved on,
the promise to love her all my life long,
but now i am not even left with the strenght to even walk.


i always felt her a touch away,
but now i want to live the life my way,
don't want to remember her all the time,
coz i feel alone when something of her hits my mind,


it's not that i want to find any more love as i had my share,
it's just that now i want to live the rest of my life with no more pain,
i also want to really smile and laugh,
not crack jokes with friends just for the heck to laugh.


to do all this i need all your help,
i need to learn to live again and this time with my love just for me,
need to step forward and take my stand,
need to rise up and walk freely in the world outside.

i do not regret what all happened,
neither do i blam any one for it,
its just that now i want the whole world to know me,
want them to know honey through me.

if i was asked to live again this life of mine,
i would do exactly what i did now,
i would again love her even though i know she will not be with me always,
because this is me and i don't want to run away from myself only.

i will never forget the time we spent,
nor will i forget the touch we shared,
it's just that i need to tell the world about you,
and for that i need to break free and go lose.

i need to let you go,
i need to let u rest now,
i need to again stand back on my legs,
coz now its all me left whether in light or darkness.

i will still u keep in my heart,
still will breath your share of air,
still will shed your dropes of blood,
its just that this time the scars i going to be mine.

i wanted to tell you what i felt like,
i know you will read it and understand,
i just want to tell you i am not upset any more,
it was your destiny and you chose it when you wanted.

sometime still when alone i might cry,
but now it will not be coz you left me alone,
it will be coz now i regained my life and,
you are not here to watch me take controll

i loved you even before you knew it,
i loved you when u did,
will love you even if you are not around,
coz this is my destiny and i chose it.

SOMETIMES…
Sometimes I just need to feel alive
Sometimes my soul needs to be revived
Sometimes I need to punish my own mistake
Sometimes I need a memory engraved
Sometimes my conscience needs to be saved
Sometimes the inner darkness has to be braved
Sometimes I need to go insane
Sometimes I need my life's bane
Sometimes there is no time for regret
Sometimes the worst is all I have left
Sometimes there is no time to contemplate
Sometimes there is no one to berate
Sometimes I am just compelled (to hurt myself)
Sometimes hope is strongly repelled (in my loneliness)
Sometimes inhibitions need to be shed
Sometimes I end up all alone in my head
Sometimes life is not so beautiful and fantastic
Sometimes the measure for salvation needs to be drastic
Sometimes you have to live in confusion
Sometimes your reality is a mere delusion
Sometimes you have to pick between heaven and hell
Sometimes the right path is hard to pick and tell
Sometimes the truth stings like a bee
Sometimes only pain can set you free
Sometimes hope is strongly repelled (in my loneliness)
Sometimes inhibitions need to be shed
Sometimes I end up all alone in my head
Sometimes life is not so beautiful and fantastic
Sometimes the measure for salvation needs to be drastic
Sometimes you have to live in confusion
Sometimes your reality is a mere delusion
Sometimes you have to pick between heaven and hell
Sometimes the right path is hard to pick and tell
Sometimes the truth stings like a bee
Sometimes only pain can set you free
mrinalini rai

WHAT HAVE I BEEN REDUCED TO

Forced to smile forced to walk,
Living a life dead long back
All I m to do is to keep doing what I don’t want to do,
This is what I have been reduced to.

Words are all deep and intense,
No one bothers to understand them,
All what is left is fake smile all through,
This is what I have been reduced to.

Got my arms bleeding all around,
What they are worried is that I wet their floor,
So need to pack up all my blood and flow on,
This is what I have been reduced to.

Sympathy is what everyone is selling,
To console every one is ready to do,
But no one tries to think what one would need,
All they want is to reduce me to what I never wanted

It’s my fault that this has happened to me,
I always wanted to live long that’s when I forgot,
Life has to end one day and to live long,
Memories are what I need them to get.
But then when u live through memories pain is all you see,
What all people can do is to give you sympathy.

Every one around talks about why should I talk this way,
All comment on why I am being so low,
They all say life is too less to live the pain,
I say they got no right to talk about me in any way.
They all can is to comment upon me,
But none of them ever went through what I lived in.

It’s a big thing for me to still be sane,
If it was on you u would have been out of this pain.
I am not going to run and hide,
I will live on and fight.
Fight with the fear in me to lose my identity and love,
I will take this fight to the end.

End where I see my self rest in peace,
Nothing to bother me or to hold me,
Then I will make my first prayer,
Talk to god and tell him never to let me born again
After all it is this ass life I m trying to fight,
With my death victory is what I have won,
Going back there and starting to fight again,
Sorry god there is no blood left in my veins.

I am sorry to shed all I had in the last life u gave,
But trust me it was these cuts that help me to win,
I may sound insane to you all but,
The best part is now I don’t give a fuck.
Lost is what I love to be,
Lost is what u will feel once u read me.
But the tough thing is I have no clue how will you read me
I am not a book neither a ballad that u can read
All you can is sit on the side and see me die,
Thinking who was the guy who passed away like that,
I will remain a mystery to all who see,
And this way I will live forever.
This might sound stupid to some I may know
But this is what I have been reduced to.

The life has been hard on me,
And I am willing to now break free,
Fly of to what my destiny where ever it may be,
Forgive me if I dump you and just leave,

Take it like you asked me to go on with it,
Live for ever not ever thinking about me,
But some day I will get back to you all through my poem,
And then that day I will find my destiny.

So bye to all of you for now,
Will see u soon either in hell or heaven,
I will be there at both places,
Because I am sure my death will even not be the end,
End of This struggle I went through all my life,
So hence will greet u all, at the gate outside.




Sorry for writing such a long note,
Small things are what I never do.
I may be no one but in my life I was the only one,
And this is what I was forced to reduce to.


anchal kakroo(cut down to liquid)