WHY DID I FAIL TO SAVE THE WORLD????

What if I die today?

Fall on the ground in a pool of blood,

What if I just let my heart stop?

Lay down without breathing through my veins,

Will the world stop?

Will any one stay back and wait,

Wait for me to gather my smoke,

Wait for me to collect the acid

No, this is not how it works

Because life is all about moving on

Whether you survive or die

No one will wait for you or stand by your side

What anyone can do is to walk

Because no one’s death will ever make anyone stand and think

No one’s death will teach anyone anything

The world will not stop, neither will their attempts

People will still go on making products

Products that kill and weapons which are supposed to protect

Drink blood to give life and milk to poison

Humanity to kill humans and barbarism to save them

We all do claim to change the world on our own

And also we all got our own pair of wondering pillows

We all are ready to fight back but fight against who?

That is what the problem is , what we think to fight for we never do

Even after we all know all we do is think and not act

Still there are some to crib

Crib on the fact why nothing still happens

And that how much effort you make yet no one cares

As a scout where I stand

All I can see is a black hole of thoughts all around

Every moment a seed is sowed

And the very next moment nothing of it remains

All that is left, is a lost earth

An aching sky

A river with no flow

And a sun with no heat

Why are some higher that rest of us

Why some always there to lead

We want no leader to show us the way to life

Because if we want to survive we need to lead our own self

The reason we have leaders is because of the difference

The difference between us and the ones who lead

The difference is not that of thoughts

Neither it is of strength

But it is of the worries

All we do is to worry about

But those who lead never worries

Rather they step forward and follow the dark

Look for shade in pitch black light

Hope to see the sun one day in their life

And lay down their life giving hope

Hope to the new born

Giving them a vision, a strength

A clean soul and guts to face any thing in life

A whore's Life

i stood at the corner waiting for a car to pull up
my skirt just covered my pride
the bra was enough to hide my respect
the boots were no bigger than what i was called
i just waited there for a car to pull up

hours passed away i stood still
many cars went by not one stopped infront
my hair all tangled pain in my back
frozen like a statue i stood there still
i just waited there for some one to stop

i was never born like this neither did i imagined
i was just a little girl playing in the lawn
when i was taken from my childhood n pulled down
days i still remember when i used to be someone
now here waiting i am reduced to something

ravaged by men day in and out
sometimes just one and sometimes more than i could even count
was made to bent in ways i did not even know of
was made to things which could only be pure evil
with those memories i stand here still n frozen

i was just 17 when i became a mother
then also i was forced, forced to kill the mother
the pain of losing my child was still in my eyes
i was again pulled down and made to dress up n die
i still stand here and wonder what my fault was

that night as i lay under someone i did not know
wondering what was more precious my pride or life
pride that was taken from me by three men together
or the life i was living, every hour under someone
i stood there frozen trying to find the answers

who did i hated the most i still dont know
the men who made me a toy for the pleasures
the man who pushed me into this world
the madam who forced me to kill my own child
or my parents who gave me birth n left me to die

society has tagged me evil and unrespectful
they put blames on me as if i m the devil
they call me by names and ban me from their lives
yet every night they come to me
to toy with me seeking pleasure n joy

its been hours since i have been standing all alone
no man no car has come to rescue me from this hole
rescue me and take me to a place i fully understand
make me do things i now know and recognize
place which no more is alien to me

you may feel i am just another sick person
accepted this new world n ready to live in
but my friend i hate every moment i spend here
but no one from the fantasy world will come i know this much
so dont want to expect something that will never happen

i am better of waiting here waiting for a car to pull up
so that i go back to what i do in this dark world
a world which evenyone see yet act blind
a world in where i have a small place of mine
n here i see that car coming now, i going just for now

careless that i am

i forgot to go for a walk when it was pleasant
i went to play when the sun was hot
and i was awake when the world slept 


careless that i am
i never remembered what to do
i never acted the way i needed to
i stayed quite when all wanted to hear me
and i shouted when left no one was around

careless that i am
i promised myself and then forgot
i repeated the same mistakes that i shouldn't have
and i did things that i shouldn't have

careless that i am
i write again and again forget
i remember when its too late
and i then i ask myself why did it happen

careless for sure i am
i toyed with people's emotions n left
i made her cry even when i said i hated it
and i gave scars which might never heal

careless for sure i am
does my carelessness have any cure
or will i continue to hurt those i love
will i make them suffer and cry
or will i bear this alone and die

what fault is it of others for my actions
what fault is of their's for how i behave
why should they suffer for what i do
why should they forgive me for my careless attitude

i dont intend to reason or explain
neither do i think my saying will bring any change
it is correct that i am not trusted
they are right when they say i am worthless

i can do no good
all i can do is write
i write too much and talk a lot
may be that is how careless people are

but in my old life i never was careless
i was dedicated and affectionate
but since then a lot has changed
i used to be a boy and now trying to grow outside and within

i cannot ask for forgiveness as have lost your faith
i cannot face you as well coz i am proved careless
all i ask is let me grow
all i ask is wait to see what i turn into

i dont want to be careless not with you
but there are just too many things to change in one go
i am trying to move as fast as i can do
distance between us is far yet i am running towards you

bear with me just for sometime
i am careless but trying to revamp
dont know if at all will achieve
i still will try with what ever left in me

Critic

quill in my hands, i try to write my self
i sit gazing at the desk while i write my self
the mirror infornt of me filled with its lines
filled with strange markings, i feel is full of lies

lies that i wrote, dreams that i searched for
ambitions dipped in venom
thoughts i have corrupted myself with
mere desires that run in my viens
i stand here gazing at the mirror filled with lines

who is to hear what i write
to satisfy whom, do i write
is to pen down the guilt i bear
is to confess to myself to my sins

it seems to me  the sense im ,e has finnaly left
the emptyness around has started to melt
the bonds r being briged,
once lost is now left untouched

i scribble what calms my thoughts
i do what once a wise man had said
i look at the mirror filled with lines
i try to look through those lines
try to find the reflection try to find the face